After the birth of my 4th child, I suffered from extreme postpartum depression and anxiety. The only way I can describe the way I felt every day was like a pot of boiling water on the stove. I kept trying to turn the temperature down so I wouldn’t boil over. On April 6th, 2019 was the day I couldn’t turn the temperature any lower. The water was too hot and it boiled over. I boiled over.
I remember feeling extreme anger. Then extreme guilt. Then extreme sadness. I packed an overnight bag and I left. I felt like my children were better off without me, my husband and children deserved better. After writing somewhat of a goodbye text to my husband I was going to run into oncoming traffic. I ended up calling my dear friend and she guided me to a safe place and then I drove my self to the behavioral hospital.
When I came home and was still recovering, my husband came to me, put his hands on my shoulders and said, “you are going through this so you can help other women.” I knew in my heart that he was right. 2 months later I was reading the book “You Are More Than Enough, You Are Magnificent“ by Ganel-Lyn Condie. In the book, she says that every woman needs a Wonder Woman Journal. That was the moment I knew I needed to create that for women. A place to help us recognize our strengths and successes, to share my story and help bring awareness to postpartum depression.